When The Toys Attack

It is amazing how quickly a seemingly insignificant object can begin to rule one’s life. In this instance we will see how some small play toys of a couple innocent children can completely throw this mother over the edge into utter insanity… The hour is early, the moon still hangs luminously on its perch in the bluing sky. My body aches from the cleaning regime I pandered to yesterday. How the maintenance sticks close to me. The toys, the gunk that was stuck vehemently on the wall; that of which its origin I could not decipher. The ground-in food on the carpet, but mostly, mostly the toys…Oh how I rue those toys, and the fact they have taken over any ounce of sanity I may have had left.

The contamination began long ago, from a time when breastfeeding and swaddling were the biggest concerns on my 'to-do' list. How could I have known then that they would take hold and from that point on, my life would succumb to these scheming playthings? I could not have known, because that is how they get you…They make their way in, never letting on of their plans to take over; their plans to surmount the place in which you live. Today I write with quick thoughts and rapid words, as even now in this time when the morning sun meets the fading moon, they are coming. Soon they will surround me. For now they wait… And as they infiltrate my manicured home, they mock me with their eager stare. Their antics- although different every day are always contemptuous, always boorish. Today they tell me in their indiscreet way, 'We've won Lindsay, we have won. Never again will you know the delight of clutter-free floors. We have your children trained to work against you- and no matter how you try they will always enjoy our company more. We are the usurpers of spotlessness and oh how we have dominated this home!'

They have allied with the children and I feel as though I've lost a battle that I truly never stood a chance at. My worst fears now come to head as I dread their intellect is rapidly increasing. Soon they will realize it is only a matter of time until the children find their leaving these play toys sprawled around habitual. Never to clean up after themselves again! The thought terrifies me. I try to think back upon the beginning of this infection, the beginning of the end.  No memory comes. Have the toys wiped my memory of those first pivotal moments in which my parenting failed? I pray the answer is no, because now, at this time my thoughts are the only thing I have left…The only thing I can cling too in these uncertain times of upheaval.

I need sanctuary…"SANCTUARY!" I stealthily move towards my bedroom. The one place I can still claim as my own. There I can indulged in my many books or watch some of my long awaited PVR’d television shows.  "NO! Nooooo." They, like always are one step ahead of me. The refuge is sullied with children’s knick-knacks. Tiny toy tractors litter the floor as I walk in maiming the soft under skin of my foot. They have initiated their attack strategy! Barbie dolls, teddies and crayons vilify the duvet I slept cozily in this morning. Angry Bird figurines, marbles and a large makeshift playhouse wait upon my floor silently laughing at me since today is vacuuming day. It is like they knew, they knew I yearned for asylum and now have taken the last place I could retreat to.
I admit defeat. Soon they will have bombarded my life in such a way I will lay unmoving on the floor, surrounded by my adversaries. They will take me over in their scornful approach, whilst laughing inaudibly at my will-less way.

Today is the end for me my friends, but for any of you parents who have yet to feel the wrath of these devious toys, please heed my words; Take hold of your home before they do! Do not let them destroy your place of rest. They move quickly, without warning and will occupy without a moment's notice. Know the signs, and feel their presence and with some luck you will be able to stop this dreadful infliction, before it has begun.
And for all of you whom have already been taken by the toys, know this…You are not alone in this defeat. And one day, with strident hope, we will take back what is rightfully ours.