Every now and then I need a reminder, a wake-up call. Something to distract me from my distractions, if you will. Being a stay-at-home mom (at least for the year of my maternity leave) is not the most glamourous job in the world. I know all you mamas will give me an “AMEN!” for that one. I mean, I'm writing this having not showered since Saturday. That was six days ago! But I digress. Glamour, beauty, or in my case, general self care, usually take a back seat so I can take care of my babies. My boy is 2 ½ and my sweet girl is almost 6 months old, and taking care of them barely leaves me 20 minutes a day to myself – especially since my son has now given up his naps, but that is another topic for another time. Most mornings I set my alarm for 6:00 a.m. to get either a workout or a shower in while still being able to have some time to myself before my kids wake up. Although I'm hitting the snooze button about 4 days a week and choosing more sleep over “Mommy Time”.
Baby steps, mamas, baby steps. The days that I choose sleep over time with myself are hard. Hard because I need that time to clear my head, regroup my thoughts and just be alone with me. I am a better mama and wife when I get that time, and it can sometimes be a daily struggle to find those precious moments. I’ll be honest here – on the days I don’t get up and intentionally carve out time for myself I get stressed, easily frustrated, and sometimes resentful towards my kids and hubby. “I just want 5 minutes to have my hot coffee!” or “please just give me 10 minutes to do these dishes!” are the bargaining phrases I find myself saying out loud to my babies on any given day.
The other night after my kids and I were all in bed, I was scrolling through different mama blogs and websites when I read something that made me stop dead in my tracks and think about my time differently. I can’t remember the exact quote or site I found it on, but it has been at the forefront of my thoughts every day since reading it. The general message was this… “I will never get today back". Tomorrow my kids will be just a little bit older, a little more independent, and needing me a little bit less. We shouldn't be wishing for today to be over, because some day we will want it back. These are the words I am willing myself to remember every single day, especially in the moments where I find myself wanting to be alone. This was my wake-up call, and I am going forward savouring and enjoying every single day with my precious kiddos.
Before I know it, they will be all grown up and I will be trying to remember the days I had with them with fervour and desperation. The dishes can wait and coffee can be reheated, and I am going to take my daughter out of her Jumperoo and play with her. The alarm will still be set for 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
Jen Kaminsky is a mama, first grade teacher, and soon to be certified yoga instructor. She enjoys baking and reading with her children, and being active with her family.